How would I know?
by CHOWY
Summary: FOOLSHIPPING! :D dedicated to DIAPERS! Chazz proposes to Alexis.. and then all hell breaks loose!


**FoolShipping! Dedicated to my Boiboi, DIAPERS:D My first attempt at foolshipping so i dont really know how to write. And again, I think it's given I DONT OWN YUGIOHGX! I might continue some chappys of this if I have the perserverance (which im sure i dont xD) **

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"Lexi. Please, I've been waiting for this moment, planning it for ages." Chazz Princeton got on his knees, bringing out a small blue box and opening it, revealing a diamond ring.

"Please." His voice cracked. "Please marry me. Please - please say you will, Lexi."

The diamond ring caught the light and sparkled, seemingly winking at Alexis Rhodes. She took a step back, and gazed at Chazz. "Chazz are you sure this is what you want?"

His mind whirls. Shouldnt she be crying now, then he would sweep her off her feet and they would kiss? Was she about to reject him? Hopelessly, he floundered.

"Yes Lexi, this is what I really want!" He grabbed her hands and held them tight. "Lexi, I will be the perfect husband for you. I'll cook, I'll clean, I'll wash the babies, hell, I'll even clear the dog's poop! Please - Please say yes Lexi!"

She took a step away from him. "No, Chazz." She starts and his eyes open wide.

_This is it. She's rejecting me. She doesn't want me. My world is gone. I should go jump from the Eiffel Tower. Drown myself in Pesticide. Stab myself with a sausage. Stuff my head in the toilet -_

"If you want to keep dogs, you will NOT marry me. But in other aspects, I have to say you're the perfect guy." Alexis Rhodes let a small smile cross her face and held out her hand.

Dazed, he continued kneeling there, staring at her as if she had just invented the sun.

_Alexis said yes, Alexis said yes, Alexis said YES!_

"Chazz? Chazz?" Alexis waved a hand in front of him. "Chazz!" She snapped, her patience running thin. Chazz was really acting like a total idiot. She was going to be late for work at this rate! "I'm going to leave!"

"Lexi, Lexi, of course, I'm here!" Chazz recovered, and hastily placed the ring on her finger, tripping over his feet in his haste to get up. His face was totally red as he flashed a thousand wattage smile at Alexis. "Lexi, I knew one day you'd come to me. I told myself it was only a matter of time you would come to me." Chazz flashed his know-it-all smile, continuing. "Lexi, I'll be the perfect husband, and you'll be the perfect wife. Together, we'd be perfect!" He laughed.

_Remind me, this is why I hated Chazz in the first place, wasn't it?_ Alexis thought grumpily to herself. _That sickening know-it-all attitude. Once I marry him, I'm going to make him change that attitude first thing!_

"Darling, I'm going to be late for work," Alexis flashed a smile at Chazz. In spite of all, she still loved him. After all, Chazz would be Chazz. "We need a job to survive on. Toodles, Chazzie." She planted a quick kiss on his lips and turned, smiling, a spring in her step.

Chazz touched his lips, his eyes unfocused.

_Did she just kiss me? Did she just KISS ME? Did ALEXIS RHODES just KISS ME?!_

"I swear, Im not going to rinse my mouth for one week." He said giddily, turning and making his way back home.

* * *

Chazz stopped at his door, feeling about in his pockets for the keys. "Goddamn, there's so many things here!" He emptied stuff from his pocket into his palm, some old sweet wrappers, driving license, some coins, a note, a piece of paper, a broken ruler... He digged somemore, found his keys and was about to open the door when a soft voice called out. 

"Chazz!"

He turned but there was no one there. He could have sworn he heard that voice. _Oh whatever, I must be hallucinating after Alexis's hot kiss!_ Chazz chuckled to himself, turned the key and pushed open the door.

"Chazz."

"Oh what the hell, can you please stop playing pranks on me. Slackers like you -" He turned and found himself face to face with a vaguely recognizable woman and her child. Had he met this woman before? It seemed like. And yet what was her name? Jean? Jeanette? Joan? Joanne? Where had he met her?

"Ma'am, how did you know my name? Oh forget it, I dont want to know. I'm not buying anything from you. Nope, no cookies, no biscuits" Chazz waggled a finger in front of the woman. "No no no. Thanks. I need to bathe. Bye."

"Chazz. You don't remember me? I'm Jasmine." The woman smiled tentatively at Chazz while he tried to remember. Jasmine? Had he ever met such a girl? It was kind of hard to keep track of his nightly activities...

"Erm.. Alexis's _once _best friend." Jasmine's voice turned sour.

"OH." He remembered that slim, lithe girl whom he was once crazy over - for one night only. "Hi Junnie. Sorry Im not buying your cookies." He started to push into the house as she reached out to block his way.

"Jasmine." Her large eyes pleaded with Chazz. "I'm not here to sell anything.. you see.. this - this is my daughter."

"Oh hi. What's your name?" Chazz bent down till he was face level with the little girl. The girl looked at Chazz with the most innocent, largest eyes in the world, then stuck out her tongue at him, reaching out to smack him hard on the face.

"Stop it you slacker!" Chazz jumped up and yowled. _I'd better get into the house!_ "Erm, nice to meet you slacker," he inclined his head at the little girl who proceeded to step on his feet rudely. "and.. erm.."_ what was her name again? he was SO bad at names!_ "Janice, nice to meet you."

"Wait! Chazz!" Joan or whatever her name was grabbed hold of his hand. "This is YOUR daughter!"

Chazz froze in mid-step. His daughter? The only babies he planned on making were Alexis's and his!

"Listen Jacqueline," ignoring the woman's faint whispers of "Jasmine". "I get it. You want me to donate to some charity fund yes? No?" He looked confused as the woman shook her head frantically. "Okay, I get it. You want me to buy your washing machine or some other useless items." The woman shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. "DONT CRY!! Okay, you want me to adopt your daughter." It was such a stupid idea, adopting her daughter, but he couldn't think of anything else. "I am not a charity fund, er - Jane."

"She's your daughter." Jasmine grabbed hold of his hand, "Remember that night? I TOLD you to use protection, but you didn't" tears started running down her face as the grip on his hand tightened and her voice went one pitch higher. "Useless idiot. Soon, I found out I was pregnant. And I found out you were going after another girl - my best friend, ALEXIS!" She started screaming, tears running down in earnest. "WHY, CHAZZ? YOU'RE THE FATHER OF THIS DAUGHTER AND YET YOU STILL WENT TO SLEEP ABOUT!"

Chazz glanced hastily around the street. The next door neighbour, an old lady, glanced disgustedly at him as she turned and went back into the house. A middle-aged man walking his dog winked at Chazz. "You sure know how to do them, buddy!" He chuckled and whistled his way out.

"Jamie. Come in." He proceeded to invite - no, push her, into the house, where he slammed the door.

* * *

Chazz sank onto the sofa. It was late, and Jodie, or whatever her stupid name was, had left, leaving behind a girl. And that girl, whom he had proceeded to rechristen Slacker, was upstairs on his bed sleeping, and most likely, drooling all over it. 

He still remembered her words. "You promised me, Chazz. You promised to take care of our baby," She sidled closer to him, burying her head in his chest as Chazz tried to wrench his hand away, unsuccessfully. "Please, darling. I'll come back for her when I have the money." Tears rolled out of her eyes as she proceeded to force him to hug her.

_Shit! What have I done?_ Chazz started biting his thumb, a nervous habit. _Proposed to the woman of my dreams and then proceeded to find out that I have a daughter!_

"Chazz, you idiot," He growled. "Major screwup time! How am I going to tell Lexi?"

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**how was that? I prefer oneshots:) they're better. long first chappy yeah. congrats to those who made it here. R&R x3!**


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